WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:16.920 Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ 00:00:16.920 --> 00:00:19.920 My husband is Kalil Tihama 00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:26.739 If the previous three types of men were bad 00:00:26.739 --> 00:00:30.739 This is a good type of man 00:00:30.739 --> 00:00:34.740 This is how life has good and bad 00:00:34.740 --> 00:00:38.740 It is not correct to generalize one category to all people 00:00:38.740 --> 00:00:41.740 Neither on men nor on women 00:00:41.740 --> 00:00:45.780 Rather, generalizing in judging people is a kind of injustice 00:00:45.780 --> 00:00:50.780 Whether it is generalized to the people of a country, a tribe, or others 00:00:50.780 --> 00:00:55.780 It is not correct to say that all men are equal 00:00:55.780 --> 00:00:59.780 It is not said that all women are equal 00:00:59.780 --> 00:01:02.780 But in all good things 00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:07.840 This is a good type of man, different from those before him 00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:10.840 As the fourth woman describes him by saying: 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:13.840 My husband is Kalil Tihama 00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:18.840 No heat, no bitterness, no fear, no poison 00:01:18.840 --> 00:01:22.129 Abu Ubaid Al-Harawi, may God have mercy on him, said 00:01:22.129 --> 00:01:26.129 She says he has no permission or harm 00:01:26.129 --> 00:01:28.129 But this is like 00:01:28.129 --> 00:01:33.129 Because both heat and cold have an ear when it becomes severe 00:01:33.129 --> 00:01:35.189 No fear 00:01:35.189 --> 00:01:40.189 She says there is no danger to him and no evil to fear 00:01:40.189 --> 00:01:42.189 Nor boredom 00:01:42.189 --> 00:01:46.189 She says he doesn't get bored with my company 00:01:46.189 --> 00:01:49.290 Al-Asbahani, may God have mercy on him, said 00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:52.290 Tihama nights are remembered for goodness 00:01:52.290 --> 00:01:55.290 That is, he has no permission and no objection 00:01:55.290 --> 00:01:58.349 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 00:01:58.349 --> 00:02:04.349 That is, it means that her husband is neither burdensome nor corrupt 00:02:04.349 --> 00:02:06.349 Rather, it is sweet and sweet 00:02:06.349 --> 00:02:08.349 Easy on the companion 00:02:08.349 --> 00:02:10.349 Mastlan side 00:02:10.349 --> 00:02:13.580 Ibn Hajar, may God have mercy on him, said 00:02:13.580 --> 00:02:16.580 She described her husband as beautiful 00:02:16.580 --> 00:02:20.580 Moderation of the situation and inner safety 00:02:20.580 --> 00:02:22.580 It's like she said it 00:02:22.580 --> 00:02:25.580 There is no harm or harm to him 00:02:25.580 --> 00:02:27.580 I am safe from him 00:02:27.580 --> 00:02:29.580 I am not afraid of his evil 00:02:29.580 --> 00:02:33.580 He never gets bored and gets tired of my company 00:02:33.580 --> 00:02:35.580 Or not bad manners 00:02:35.580 --> 00:02:37.580 I am tired of being with him 00:02:37.580 --> 00:02:40.580 I am happy to live with him 00:02:40.580 --> 00:02:44.580 The people of Tihama enjoy their mild night 00:02:44.580 --> 00:02:50.139 This woman described her husband eloquently 00:02:50.139 --> 00:02:53.139 His good qualities were evident in him 00:02:53.139 --> 00:02:57.139 What every woman desires in her husband 00:02:57.139 --> 00:03:02.139 Every woman is happy to feel secure with her husband 00:03:02.139 --> 00:03:06.139 This feeling comes because of the husband's actions 00:03:06.139 --> 00:03:08.139 And check it out as well 00:03:08.139 --> 00:03:11.210 Because of the husband's actions 00:03:11.210 --> 00:03:15.210 A man threatening his wife with divorce is the most ridiculous reason 00:03:15.210 --> 00:03:18.210 Or he frequently mentions divorce in front of her 00:03:18.210 --> 00:03:20.210 He loses her psychological security 00:03:20.210 --> 00:03:23.210 He lives it in constant fear 00:03:23.210 --> 00:03:26.210 Because she is not safe from this aspect 00:03:26.210 --> 00:03:30.270 It is not appropriate for a sane man to threaten his wife with divorce 00:03:30.270 --> 00:03:34.270 At the slightest problem that occurs between them 00:03:34.270 --> 00:03:38.270 Rather, a rational man does not mention divorce in front of his wife 00:03:38.270 --> 00:03:42.270 It can only be released after all means have been exhausted 00:03:42.270 --> 00:03:44.270 To solve his problem with her 00:03:44.270 --> 00:03:49.460 After istikharah, consultation and deliberation 00:03:49.460 --> 00:03:52.460 A woman feels safe with her husband 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:56.460 It is one of the most important factors for her happiness 00:03:56.460 --> 00:04:00.460 It is a reason for her abundant giving and sacrifice for you 00:04:00.460 --> 00:04:02.460 Dear man 00:04:02.460 --> 00:04:04.460 So keep it and you will be happy 00:04:04.460 --> 00:04:06.659 This feeling of security 00:04:06.659 --> 00:04:09.659 This fourth woman described it 00:04:09.659 --> 00:04:13.659 Three important descriptions in marital life 00:04:13.659 --> 00:04:15.659 The first one 00:04:15.659 --> 00:04:19.660 Men in dealing with the wife in marital life 00:04:19.660 --> 00:04:22.660 The woman likened it to the night of Tihama 00:04:22.660 --> 00:04:24.660 There is neither heat nor comfort 00:04:24.660 --> 00:04:27.660 It means pretty moderate 00:04:27.660 --> 00:04:31.660 This is how a man should be in his married life 00:04:31.660 --> 00:04:35.660 He does not harm his wife in any way 00:04:35.660 --> 00:04:39.660 Because she is his companion in this worldly life 00:04:39.660 --> 00:04:41.660 Which he chose with his consent 00:04:41.660 --> 00:04:45.660 And he fought to get her approval 00:04:45.660 --> 00:04:49.660 He offered her money, gold, and gifts for her to accept 00:04:49.660 --> 00:04:52.660 This hurt her further 00:04:52.660 --> 00:04:56.750 He quickly needs it and can't do without it 00:04:56.750 --> 00:05:01.819 Why should he upset her mind and disturb her soul? 00:05:01.819 --> 00:05:04.819 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, forbade the man 00:05:04.819 --> 00:05:07.819 About harming women early in the day 00:05:07.819 --> 00:05:10.819 Then have sex with her at the end 00:05:10.819 --> 00:05:13.819 On the authority of Abdullah bin Zamaa, may God be pleased with him 00:05:13.819 --> 00:05:17.819 On the authority of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, he said 00:05:17.819 --> 00:05:21.819 None of you should flog his wife like a slave 00:05:21.819 --> 00:05:24.819 Then he has intercourse with her at the end of the day 00:05:24.819 --> 00:05:26.819 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 00:05:26.819 --> 00:05:31.069 Abu Abbas Al-Qurtubi, may God have mercy on him, said 00:05:31.069 --> 00:05:34.069 This is a denial of the one who flogs his wife 00:05:34.069 --> 00:05:39.069 And more than that until he treats her like a nation 00:05:39.069 --> 00:05:42.069 Then it is easy after that 00:05:42.069 --> 00:05:44.069 He goes back to fucking her 00:05:44.069 --> 00:05:47.069 And to satisfy his desire for her 00:05:47.069 --> 00:05:50.069 Do not obey him or be kind to him 00:05:50.069 --> 00:05:52.069 You may hate him 00:05:52.069 --> 00:05:54.069 Maybe he loves her 00:05:54.069 --> 00:05:58.069 His condition deteriorates and their situation worsens 00:05:58.069 --> 00:06:03.069 The mercy and affection that God Almighty established between spouses will disappear 00:06:03.069 --> 00:06:06.069 And the opposite happens 00:06:06.069 --> 00:06:08.069 With it, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:06:08.069 --> 00:06:10.069 With this brief word 00:06:10.069 --> 00:06:14.170 As for the evils that arise from that 00:06:14.170 --> 00:06:17.170 Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, may God have mercy on him, said 00:06:17.170 --> 00:06:20.170 And intercourse or intercourse 00:06:20.170 --> 00:06:25.170 Rather, it is preferable to treat oneself and the desire to be treated with kindness 00:06:25.170 --> 00:06:28.170 The flogged person often repels the one who was flogged 00:06:28.170 --> 00:06:33.670 It was pointed out that this was condemned 00:06:33.670 --> 00:06:36.670 He respected the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:06:36.670 --> 00:06:41.670 The woman was psychologically surprised to feel safe and reassured with her husband 00:06:41.670 --> 00:06:45.670 He alerted the husband to the etiquette of dealing with women 00:06:45.670 --> 00:06:48.670 And he does not treat women well 00:06:48.670 --> 00:06:52.769 It is a body without a soul or feelings 00:06:52.769 --> 00:06:57.769 A healthy woman only offers her body to those she loves 00:06:57.769 --> 00:07:01.769 And in a state of complete psychological reassurance 00:07:01.769 --> 00:07:03.990 The second one 00:07:03.990 --> 00:07:05.990 Internal safety 00:07:05.990 --> 00:07:10.990 Do not expect any form of treachery from him in marital life 00:07:10.990 --> 00:07:12.990 And don't be afraid of that 00:07:12.990 --> 00:07:16.990 This is the pinnacle of psychological safety in a woman’s life 00:07:16.990 --> 00:07:19.990 To feel confident in her husband 00:07:19.990 --> 00:07:25.149 Its interior, like its exterior, is clean and there is no treachery in it 00:07:25.149 --> 00:07:27.149 The third one 00:07:27.149 --> 00:07:31.149 Good company and good company never tire of them 00:07:31.149 --> 00:07:35.149 This suggests to the woman that her husband loves her 00:07:35.149 --> 00:07:41.149 Good company and good company only come from someone with good morals 00:07:41.149 --> 00:07:46.149 Sitting with the wife for a long time is evidence of his love for her 00:07:46.149 --> 00:07:50.149 This requires listening well 00:07:50.149 --> 00:07:52.149 Because if he sat with her 00:07:52.149 --> 00:07:56.149 I felt comfortable talking to him and felt comfortable with him 00:07:56.149 --> 00:08:00.149 This is what the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, did 00:08:00.149 --> 00:08:02.149 In the hadith of Umm Zara’ 00:08:02.149 --> 00:08:04.149 He sat with Aisha 00:08:04.149 --> 00:08:06.149 And chat with her 00:08:06.149 --> 00:08:09.149 And listen to her carefully 00:08:09.149 --> 00:08:15.149 Women have a role in eliminating boredom from married life with good treatment 00:08:15.149 --> 00:08:17.149 Choose the topic of conversation 00:08:17.149 --> 00:08:22.149 And renewal in her life, her clothing, and her home 00:08:22.149 --> 00:08:26.149 Therefore, Omar bin Al-Aas said his beautiful words 00:08:26.149 --> 00:08:30.149 I don't get tired of my animal as long as my feet carry it 00:08:30.149 --> 00:08:33.149 Nor did my wife treat me well 00:08:33.149 --> 00:08:37.149 Nor did my friend keep my secret 00:08:37.149 --> 00:08:40.149 Boredom is one of the false morals 00:08:40.149 --> 00:08:44.500 How are you, honorable man, with your wife? 00:08:44.500 --> 00:08:47.500 Do you feel safe with you? 00:08:47.500 --> 00:08:50.500 Do you long to sit with her? 00:08:50.500 --> 00:08:54.500 Do you have the ability to listen to her without interrupting? 00:08:54.500 --> 00:08:56.500 Even if she talked for a long time 00:08:56.500 --> 00:09:00.879 We will continue in the future, God willing 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.879 Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds