WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.610 In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful 00:00:05.610 --> 00:00:13.160 Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ 00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:23.539 My husband, if I remember him, I remember his fate 00:00:23.539 --> 00:00:28.140 After the first woman finished describing her husband 00:00:28.140 --> 00:00:30.339 It was the turn of the second 00:00:30.339 --> 00:00:31.839 And she said 00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:34.539 My husband, I don't share his news 00:00:34.539 --> 00:00:37.539 I'm afraid I won't let him go 00:00:37.539 --> 00:00:41.829 If I remember him, I remember his reward and reward 00:00:41.829 --> 00:00:46.329 The group pledged to mention all of her husband's conditions 00:00:46.329 --> 00:00:49.829 But she was confused between two things 00:00:49.829 --> 00:00:51.329 The first 00:00:51.329 --> 00:00:57.329 She promised women not to conceal anything from her husband 00:00:57.329 --> 00:00:58.829 The second 00:00:58.829 --> 00:01:03.329 She hated hating her husband and talking about him 00:01:03.329 --> 00:01:05.359 The reason for this confusion 00:01:05.859 --> 00:01:09.859 It is her fear of what he will say to him by talking about him 00:01:09.859 --> 00:01:11.859 She is afraid of two things 00:01:11.859 --> 00:01:13.359 The first 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:15.359 To talk about it for a long time 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:19.420 Remember all his apparent and hidden faults 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:21.920 Al-Asbahani, may God have mercy on him, said 00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:24.920 And she said, “I don’t broadcast his news.” 00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:26.920 That is, I do not publish news about it 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:29.920 I'm afraid I won't let him go 00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:33.420 That is, I do not leave any of his experience behind 00:01:33.420 --> 00:01:38.049 Affliction and ugliness are defects 00:01:38.049 --> 00:01:41.049 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 00:01:41.049 --> 00:01:44.049 She said, “I don’t broadcast his news.” 00:01:44.049 --> 00:01:46.049 I'm afraid I won't leave him 00:01:46.049 --> 00:01:48.049 That is, leave his speech 00:01:48.049 --> 00:01:51.549 And it's back to the news 00:01:51.549 --> 00:01:54.549 That is, because of its length and abundance 00:01:54.549 --> 00:01:58.049 If I started it, I wouldn't be able to finish it 00:01:58.049 --> 00:02:04.489 This means that this man's disadvantages are very many 00:02:04.489 --> 00:02:06.989 Some are uglier than others 00:02:06.989 --> 00:02:10.250 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 00:02:10.250 --> 00:02:15.250 That is, if I was told about any of his faults and shortcomings 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:19.250 It led to mentioning something else even uglier 00:02:19.250 --> 00:02:25.250 Her companions pledged not to conceal any of his characteristics from them 00:02:25.250 --> 00:02:29.250 She hated what she had contracted with them 00:02:29.250 --> 00:02:33.250 She went to cover her husband's faults because they were many 00:02:33.750 --> 00:02:36.750 You did not want to mention some without others 00:02:36.750 --> 00:02:41.750 And if she mentions one thing, it causes another to be mentioned 00:02:41.750 --> 00:02:44.750 She saw constipation first 00:02:44.750 --> 00:02:50.550 Her words also indicate that her heart is full of him 00:02:50.550 --> 00:02:57.550 She had not spoken to anyone before this council about her concerns with her husband 00:02:57.550 --> 00:03:00.050 This is one of the mistakes of women 00:03:00.050 --> 00:03:03.050 They carry their worries alone 00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:06.050 If the problem gets bigger, run 00:03:06.050 --> 00:03:09.050 It became difficult to solve the problem 00:03:09.050 --> 00:03:13.240 Advice for those in this situation 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:17.240 To turn to someone who advises her to solve her problems 00:03:17.240 --> 00:03:20.240 Who you trust are good and righteous people 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:24.240 From scholars, preachers, or reformers 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:29.240 It is not enough for her to broadcast her concerns to women like her 00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:31.240 They have no advice for her 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:36.370 Rather, it is dangerous in spreading the conditions of marital life between women 00:03:36.370 --> 00:03:42.370 Those who are not known for their knowledge, righteousness, or ability to solve problems 00:03:42.370 --> 00:03:44.370 To broadcast these matters to them 00:03:44.370 --> 00:03:47.370 It may compound the problem 00:03:47.370 --> 00:03:50.370 And your heart warms to your husband 00:03:50.370 --> 00:03:52.370 Because she may suffer like you 00:03:52.370 --> 00:03:55.370 It increases your worry over their worry 00:03:55.370 --> 00:03:58.370 You may be talking about all men 00:03:58.370 --> 00:04:00.370 She describes them as unjust 00:04:00.370 --> 00:04:03.370 So give your heart to them all 00:04:03.370 --> 00:04:07.659 The second thing this woman is afraid of 00:04:07.659 --> 00:04:09.719 It is divorce 00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:12.719 Abu Abbas Al-Qurtubi, may God have mercy on him, said 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:17.720 It means that if she described her husband's condition, she mentioned his faults 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:19.720 And if you do that 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:21.720 She was afraid of leaving him 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:26.720 She hates him breaking up with the ties between them 00:04:26.720 --> 00:04:29.970 Her fear of divorce 00:04:29.970 --> 00:04:31.970 It has several meanings 00:04:31.970 --> 00:04:35.970 The most important of which is that she loves him and hates leaving him 00:04:35.970 --> 00:04:38.970 This is what Al-Qurtubi said 00:04:38.970 --> 00:04:41.970 The relationship between them is a love relationship 00:04:41.970 --> 00:04:44.970 With all its reprehensible qualities 00:04:44.970 --> 00:04:46.970 Except she loves him 00:04:46.970 --> 00:04:52.100 Some may not be able to understand this difficult equation 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:55.100 Love and bad qualities 00:04:55.100 --> 00:04:58.100 This is because we did not understand women and their nature 00:04:58.100 --> 00:05:00.100 And her way of thinking 00:05:00.100 --> 00:05:06.290 Some men may not realize the great love that their women have for them 00:05:06.290 --> 00:05:08.290 Great attachment to them 00:05:08.290 --> 00:05:12.290 Either because they are busy with their personal lives 00:05:12.290 --> 00:05:15.290 Or in practical life and earning a living 00:05:15.290 --> 00:05:19.290 Or by not thinking about the issue at all 00:05:19.290 --> 00:05:22.540 The original, honorable men 00:05:22.540 --> 00:05:26.540 That women do not like or want divorce 00:05:26.540 --> 00:05:29.540 Even if you ask for it during problems 00:05:29.540 --> 00:05:33.540 The state of anger makes everything possible 00:05:33.540 --> 00:05:37.540 Because the angry person does not know what to say 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:40.540 This does not mean, dear man 00:05:40.540 --> 00:05:42.540 To take advantage of a woman's love for you 00:05:42.540 --> 00:05:48.540 So you continue to hurt her with the qualities in you that she does not like 00:05:48.540 --> 00:05:50.540 Rather, the wisest of men 00:05:50.540 --> 00:05:54.540 He who invests in the honesty of those around him in his criticism of him 00:05:54.540 --> 00:05:57.800 By changing his bad traits 00:05:57.800 --> 00:06:02.800 The woman is afraid of what her husband will say to her 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:04.800 Another important benefit 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:09.800 It is thinking about the consequences of things before undertaking them 00:06:09.800 --> 00:06:15.829 This indicates that this second woman is very rational 00:06:15.829 --> 00:06:18.829 She thinks about the outcome of things 00:06:18.829 --> 00:06:22.829 A far cry from the blameworthy haste 00:06:22.829 --> 00:06:25.829 Which may ruin her life in the future 00:06:25.829 --> 00:06:27.829 Her heart is filled with remorse 00:06:27.829 --> 00:06:30.829 She regrets the past 00:06:30.829 --> 00:06:36.120 This woman's behavior also indicates her patience with her husband 00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:38.120 She treated him well 00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:43.120 It is unimaginable for a man to have such bad morals 00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:45.120 He meets a woman with the same character as him 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.120 Then he does not divorce her 00:06:48.120 --> 00:06:50.220 As indicated by this woman’s words 00:06:50.220 --> 00:06:54.220 She must control her tongue when talking about her husband 00:06:54.220 --> 00:06:59.250 Controlling the tongue is one of the most important morals that saves one from Hell 00:06:59.250 --> 00:07:03.250 It indicates a high level of reason and contemplation 00:07:03.250 --> 00:07:07.250 Before giving the speech and speaking it 00:07:07.250 --> 00:07:12.250 This can only be imagined by those who have balance and self-control 00:07:12.250 --> 00:07:16.250 Especially when she does it 00:07:16.250 --> 00:07:19.310 This is a patient, rational woman 00:07:19.310 --> 00:07:22.310 Think about the outcome of things 00:07:22.310 --> 00:07:25.310 She has the ability to control her tongue 00:07:25.310 --> 00:07:28.310 Keeper of her husband's secrets 00:07:28.310 --> 00:07:30.310 And his flaws are hidden 00:07:30.310 --> 00:07:34.379 But she was plagued by an apparently hidden husband 00:07:34.379 --> 00:07:36.379 Good dealing with people 00:07:36.379 --> 00:07:39.379 It is poorly treated inside the house 00:07:39.379 --> 00:07:42.379 Its disadvantages are very many 00:07:42.379 --> 00:07:45.379 Its harm is only to his family 00:07:46.730 --> 00:07:49.730 Judge Ayyab, may God have mercy on him, said 00:07:49.730 --> 00:07:51.730 And I see, and God knows best 00:07:51.730 --> 00:07:54.730 It was apparently hidden 00:07:54.730 --> 00:07:56.730 Reply Albat 00:07:56.730 --> 00:07:58.730 She did not want to tear off his cover 00:07:58.730 --> 00:08:00.730 And if she spoke 00:08:00.730 --> 00:08:03.730 What her companions had agreed upon 00:08:03.730 --> 00:08:06.730 Revealed his hidden ugliness 00:08:06.730 --> 00:08:08.730 She was in bad shape 00:08:08.730 --> 00:08:11.730 Her greatest concern for him was that which had not appeared before 00:08:11.730 --> 00:08:15.730 But even if she waved, she did not declare it 00:08:15.730 --> 00:08:17.730 You explained and explained more beautifully 00:08:17.730 --> 00:08:19.730 It has been broadcast 00:08:19.730 --> 00:08:21.730 And if she says I don't broadcast 00:08:21.730 --> 00:08:27.300 The source must exhale 00:08:27.300 --> 00:08:30.300 Who is blessed with such a sane woman? 00:08:30.300 --> 00:08:35.299 It is not appropriate for him to continue his mistake in dealing with her 00:08:35.299 --> 00:08:39.299 It is a blessing from God Almighty upon him 00:08:39.299 --> 00:08:41.299 You need to thank 00:08:41.299 --> 00:08:44.299 Giving thanks for grace begins with changing the soul 00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:46.299 And commitment to the truth 00:08:46.299 --> 00:08:49.580 And create good morals 00:08:49.580 --> 00:08:52.580 I advise men to act on this hadith 00:08:52.580 --> 00:08:56.580 Following the example of the Holy Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:08:56.580 --> 00:09:00.580 He followed his example in his dealings with his family 00:09:00.580 --> 00:09:03.679 On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her, she said 00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:07.679 The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:10.679 The best of you is the best to his family 00:09:10.679 --> 00:09:13.679 I am the best of you to my family 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:15.679 Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:19.000 Ibn Battar, may God have mercy on him, said 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:24.000 This clearly indicates that what is best for a person and good for him 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:28.000 Be patient with the harm of his family and turn a blind eye to them 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:33.000 And forgiveness for the harm he suffers from them in himself 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:36.000 Without what was in God's essence 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:40.000 This is due to what Omar, may God be pleased with him, mentioned 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:43.000 On the authority of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:51.000 Of his patience with the evil that befell him from the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:54.000 And he gave them to him and abandoned them for him 00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:00.159 It was not mentioned that the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, punished them for that 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:08.190 Rather, he mentioned that Omar was the one who advised them against it, rather than the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:10:08.190 --> 00:10:14.190 And in the same way as Omar mentioned, the creation of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:10:14.190 --> 00:10:16.190 News continued about him 00:10:16.190 --> 00:10:21.190 Is there anyone like him who mourned his nation, peace and blessings be upon him? 00:10:21.190 --> 00:10:24.509 Ibn Uthaymeen, may God have mercy on him, said 00:10:24.509 --> 00:10:26.509 This is the best of people 00:10:26.509 --> 00:10:28.509 He is the best to his family 00:10:28.509 --> 00:10:30.509 If there is good in you 00:10:30.509 --> 00:10:33.509 So keep it with the people closest to you 00:10:33.509 --> 00:10:37.509 Let him be the first to benefit from this goodness 00:10:37.509 --> 00:10:40.509 This is the opposite of what some people do today 00:10:40.509 --> 00:10:43.509 You find that he has a bad attitude towards his family 00:10:43.509 --> 00:10:45.509 Good manners with others 00:10:45.509 --> 00:10:48.509 This is a big mistake 00:10:48.509 --> 00:10:51.509 Your family is more deserving of good behavior 00:10:51.509 --> 00:10:53.539 Have good manners with them 00:10:53.539 --> 00:10:57.539 Because they are the ones who are with you day and night 00:10:57.539 --> 00:10:59.539 Secretly and openly 00:10:59.539 --> 00:11:01.539 If something happens to you 00:11:01.539 --> 00:11:03.539 They were injured with you 00:11:03.539 --> 00:11:05.539 If you please, they will walk with you 00:11:05.539 --> 00:11:08.610 If you are sad, they will be sad with you 00:11:08.610 --> 00:11:13.610 Your treatment with them should be better than your treatment with foreigners 00:11:13.610 --> 00:11:19.429 The best of people are the best to their families 00:11:19.429 --> 00:11:22.429 How are you, honorable man, with your family? 00:11:22.429 --> 00:11:26.429 Which type are you with your wife? 00:11:26.429 --> 00:11:31.289 We will continue in an upcoming meeting, God willing 00:11:31.289 --> 00:11:35.289 Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds