WEBVTT 00:00:00.020 --> 00:00:03.020 In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful 00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:08.220 Men's items 00:00:08.220 --> 00:00:13.220 In the hadith of Umm Zara’ 00:00:13.220 --> 00:00:22.089 When a woman talks about her husband 00:00:22.089 --> 00:00:25.089 A woman loves to talk about her husband 00:00:25.089 --> 00:00:28.089 And that should be the focus of her talk 00:00:28.089 --> 00:00:30.089 There is no surprise in that 00:00:30.089 --> 00:00:34.090 The nature of women is completely different from the nature of men 00:00:34.090 --> 00:00:38.090 This council is only an example of women's councils 00:00:38.090 --> 00:00:42.090 And the talk about his wives 00:00:42.090 --> 00:00:47.149 Ibn Hajar, may God have mercy on him, said commenting on the story of this council: 00:00:47.149 --> 00:00:51.149 And it is the business of women if they speak 00:00:51.149 --> 00:00:55.149 Their conversation should only be about men 00:00:55.149 --> 00:00:58.149 This is unlike men 00:00:58.149 --> 00:01:03.149 Most of their talk is regarding matters of livelihood 00:01:04.760 --> 00:01:09.819 But what are the rules for talking about husbands between women? 00:01:09.819 --> 00:01:12.819 First, beware of backbiting 00:01:12.819 --> 00:01:15.920 God Almighty forbids backbiting 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:19.920 He said, “Do not backbite one another.” 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:24.920 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, explained the meaning of backbiting, saying: 00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:26.920 Do you know what backbiting is? 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.920 They said: God and His Messenger know best 00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:34.920 He said: He reminded you of your brother in a way that he dislikes 00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:38.920 It was said: What do you think if there is something in my brother that I say? 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:43.920 He said, "If what you say is true, then you backbited him." 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:47.950 If it is not in it, then it has guided him 00:01:47.950 --> 00:01:50.019 Narrated by Muslim 00:01:50.019 --> 00:01:54.019 The wife is the one most aware of the husband's faults 00:01:54.019 --> 00:01:55.019 And it is 00:01:55.019 --> 00:01:58.019 Therefore, he covered her and she covered him 00:01:58.019 --> 00:02:02.019 If you talk between women about something that the husband hates 00:02:02.019 --> 00:02:05.109 I fell into occultation 00:02:05.109 --> 00:02:08.110 Women often fall into backbiting 00:02:08.110 --> 00:02:12.110 When she talks to her mother and sisters about her husband 00:02:12.110 --> 00:02:18.240 The fact that she wants someone to talk to her does not exempt her from sin 00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:24.430 Because disclosing what the husband dislikes is backbiting that makes the woman sinful 00:02:24.430 --> 00:02:29.430 What should a woman do if problems arise between her and her husband? 00:02:29.430 --> 00:02:32.530 She wanted to air her concerns 00:02:32.530 --> 00:02:37.530 This is one of the cases that most ensnare a woman in backbiting 00:02:37.530 --> 00:02:40.750 How can a woman avoid it? 00:02:40.750 --> 00:02:44.750 So that the woman avoids falling into backbiting in this case 00:02:44.750 --> 00:02:47.750 She must take two things into consideration 00:02:47.750 --> 00:02:48.750 Firstly 00:02:48.750 --> 00:02:51.750 Choose well who you talk to 00:02:51.750 --> 00:02:53.750 Which is required 00:02:53.750 --> 00:02:58.750 The ability to provide advice and guidance for such problems 00:02:58.750 --> 00:03:03.750 To have the ability to control the mind and control emotions 00:03:03.750 --> 00:03:04.819 Secondly 00:03:04.819 --> 00:03:07.819 Her intention should be to solve the problem 00:03:07.819 --> 00:03:10.819 And not just venting 00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:14.039 Since women are emotional by nature 00:03:14.039 --> 00:03:16.039 Her emotion overpowers her reason 00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:23.039 It may not be appropriate to consult on marital problems that need to be heard by both parties 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:31.039 However, her experiences can be used to provide advice and guidance in making marital life a success 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:35.259 Evidence that it is permissible to talk about the husband in a way that he dislikes 00:03:35.259 --> 00:03:38.259 In order to solve the problem or referendum 00:03:38.259 --> 00:03:42.259 Hind bint Atba’s conversation with her husband 00:03:42.259 --> 00:03:44.300 On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her 00:03:44.300 --> 00:03:47.300 Hind bint Atba said: 00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:49.300 O Messenger of God 00:03:49.300 --> 00:03:52.300 Abu Sufyan is a stingy man 00:03:52.300 --> 00:03:55.300 He does not give me enough for me and my child 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:58.300 Except what I took from him and he did not know 00:03:58.300 --> 00:04:00.300 And he said 00:04:00.300 --> 00:04:03.300 Take what is sufficient for you and your child, according to what is reasonable 00:04:03.300 --> 00:04:05.300 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 00:04:05.300 --> 00:04:07.389 The question here 00:04:07.389 --> 00:04:11.389 Is what happened by women in this council considered backbiting? 00:04:11.389 --> 00:04:15.389 Is it permissible to emulate them in this act? 00:04:15.389 --> 00:04:17.550 The answer is yes 00:04:17.550 --> 00:04:19.550 This is backbiting 00:04:20.550 --> 00:04:23.550 Because each woman knows the other 00:04:23.550 --> 00:04:25.550 She knows who her husband is 00:04:25.550 --> 00:04:29.550 They should not be imitated in this action 00:04:29.550 --> 00:04:31.550 A group comes together 00:04:31.550 --> 00:04:34.550 And each one talks about her husband 00:04:34.550 --> 00:04:38.810 But updating it is now permissible 00:04:38.810 --> 00:04:41.810 Because the women who do not meet are unknown 00:04:41.810 --> 00:04:44.810 Their husbands are also unknown 00:04:44.810 --> 00:04:48.810 Mentioning about them is not considered backbiting 00:04:48.810 --> 00:04:51.870 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 00:04:51.870 --> 00:04:54.870 Some scholars have inferred from this hadith 00:04:54.870 --> 00:04:57.870 To mention the bad and the defect 00:04:57.870 --> 00:05:01.870 If someone mentions him in a way that his name and eyes are not known 00:05:01.870 --> 00:05:03.870 It is not backbiting 00:05:03.870 --> 00:05:05.870 But backbiting 00:05:05.870 --> 00:05:08.870 To mean something specific that he dislikes 00:05:08.870 --> 00:05:11.870 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:05:11.870 --> 00:05:13.870 He told about some of these women 00:05:13.870 --> 00:05:16.870 What they mentioned about their husbands' faults 00:05:16.870 --> 00:05:20.870 He does not talk about himself or others, may God bless him and grant him peace 00:05:20.870 --> 00:05:23.870 Except what is permissible and permissible 00:05:23.870 --> 00:05:29.060 What is the point of mentioning these women? 00:05:29.060 --> 00:05:32.060 If their action was backbiting 00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:33.120 Firstly 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:36.120 If there was no benefit in mentioning their story 00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:40.120 When Aisha, may God be pleased with her, told her 00:05:40.120 --> 00:05:44.120 When the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, listened to her speech 00:05:44.120 --> 00:05:46.120 Without denial 00:05:46.120 --> 00:05:47.250 Secondly 00:05:47.250 --> 00:05:50.250 Remember stories like this to learn a lesson 00:05:50.250 --> 00:05:53.250 And benefit from the experiences of others 00:05:53.250 --> 00:05:56.339 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 00:05:56.339 --> 00:05:58.339 And there is some jurisprudence in it 00:05:58.339 --> 00:06:01.339 It is permissible to talk about empty nations 00:06:01.339 --> 00:06:04.339 And bygone generations and past centuries 00:06:04.339 --> 00:06:07.339 He gave them examples 00:06:07.339 --> 00:06:10.339 Because in his conduct he is considered for the considered 00:06:10.339 --> 00:06:13.339 And clairvoyance for the clairvoyant 00:06:13.339 --> 00:06:16.339 And extracting benefit for the extensive researcher 00:06:16.339 --> 00:06:18.339 In this hadith 00:06:18.339 --> 00:06:21.339 Especially if it happens to women 00:06:21.339 --> 00:06:25.339 A benefit in urging loyalty to Ba'ullah 00:06:25.339 --> 00:06:28.339 And mourning for shortness of mind and heart towards them 00:06:28.339 --> 00:06:31.339 And thanks for all they do 00:06:31.339 --> 00:06:33.339 And get along well with them 00:06:33.339 --> 00:06:35.339 Like a mother's condition 00:06:35.339 --> 00:06:38.339 And what appeared to be her admiration for Abu Zara’ 00:06:38.339 --> 00:06:41.339 Congratulations to him and all his family 00:06:41.339 --> 00:06:43.339 He thanked her for his kindness to her 00:06:43.339 --> 00:06:46.339 Everything after it is made small 00:06:46.339 --> 00:06:49.540 Because of her story, it was a topic of conversation 00:06:49.540 --> 00:06:52.540 It also occurred in some narrations 00:06:52.540 --> 00:06:55.540 Including the introduction to the patience of others 00:06:55.540 --> 00:06:58.540 whose husbands We blamed 00:06:58.540 --> 00:07:01.540 And the media about the bad behavior they endured 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:04.540 And the ferocity of their morals 00:07:04.540 --> 00:07:07.540 Let women emulate this 00:07:07.540 --> 00:07:10.540 Whoever has reached her experience of patience 00:07:11.540 --> 00:07:13.540 Secondly 00:07:13.540 --> 00:07:17.399 Don't mince words 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:20.459 Women have the power to change reality 00:07:20.459 --> 00:07:23.459 Without falling into lies 00:07:23.459 --> 00:07:26.459 We saw it in a previous episode 00:07:26.459 --> 00:07:29.459 Evidence of this 00:07:29.459 --> 00:07:32.459 It is not permissible for a woman to talk about her husband 00:07:32.459 --> 00:07:35.459 To deceive the listener into something that is not in her husband 00:07:35.459 --> 00:07:38.459 Of bad qualities 00:07:38.459 --> 00:07:40.819 Third 00:07:40.819 --> 00:07:44.069 Do not deny your husband's benevolence 00:07:44.069 --> 00:07:47.069 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, told 00:07:47.069 --> 00:07:50.069 That most of the women go to Hell 00:07:50.069 --> 00:07:53.069 It is ungrateful for the husband's benevolence 00:07:53.069 --> 00:07:56.069 He said: I showed you the fire 00:07:56.069 --> 00:07:59.069 So most of its people are women 00:07:59.069 --> 00:08:01.069 They disbelieve 00:08:01.069 --> 00:08:04.069 It was said: Do they disbelieve in God? 00:08:04.069 --> 00:08:07.069 He said: “The husband and wife are ungrateful.” 00:08:07.069 --> 00:08:10.069 And they deny charity 00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:13.069 Then she saw something from you 00:08:13.069 --> 00:08:16.069 She said: I have never seen anything good from you 00:08:16.069 --> 00:08:19.649 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 00:08:19.649 --> 00:08:22.779 Fourth, do not lie 00:08:22.779 --> 00:08:25.779 Lying is a major sin 00:08:25.779 --> 00:08:28.779 It is one of the worst manners in dealing with people 00:08:28.779 --> 00:08:31.779 And the woman when talking about her husband 00:08:31.779 --> 00:08:34.779 You may lie and slander him 00:08:34.779 --> 00:08:37.779 Or with praise to appear in front of women 00:08:38.779 --> 00:08:41.940 On behalf of herself or her husband 00:08:41.940 --> 00:08:44.940 On the authority of Ikrimah, Rifa'ta divorced his wife 00:08:44.940 --> 00:08:47.940 So Abdul Rahman bin Al-Zubair Al-Qardi married her 00:08:47.940 --> 00:08:50.940 Aisha said 00:08:50.940 --> 00:08:53.940 She is wearing a green veil 00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:56.940 So she complained to her and showed her green skin 00:08:56.940 --> 00:08:59.940 When the Messenger of God came 00:08:59.940 --> 00:09:02.940 Women support each other 00:09:02.940 --> 00:09:05.940 Aisha said 00:09:05.940 --> 00:09:09.000 I have seen what happens to believing women 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:12.000 Her skin is greener than her dress 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:15.029 He said and heard it 00:09:15.029 --> 00:09:18.029 She came to the Messenger of God 00:09:18.029 --> 00:09:21.029 Then he came with two of his sons from another country 00:09:21.029 --> 00:09:24.029 She said, “By God, I am not at fault.” 00:09:24.029 --> 00:09:27.029 However, what he has is not richer 00:09:27.029 --> 00:09:30.029 About me from this 00:09:30.029 --> 00:09:33.029 She took a fringe from her dress 00:09:33.029 --> 00:09:36.029 I repent, by God, O Messenger of God 00:09:36.029 --> 00:09:39.029 I will shake it off, I will shake it off 00:09:39.029 --> 00:09:42.029 But she is an outlier who wants prosperity 00:09:42.029 --> 00:09:45.029 The Messenger of God said 00:09:45.029 --> 00:09:48.029 If so, it is not permissible for him 00:09:48.029 --> 00:09:51.029 Or you did not prepare it for him so that he could taste it 00:09:51.029 --> 00:09:54.029 From your honey 00:09:54.029 --> 00:09:57.029 He said and saw two of his sons with him 00:09:57.029 --> 00:10:00.029 And these are your sons, he said 00:10:00.029 --> 00:10:03.029 He said this is what you claim 00:10:03.029 --> 00:10:06.029 Whatever you claim, by God 00:10:06.029 --> 00:10:09.029 To them, it resembles a crow to a crow 00:10:09.029 --> 00:10:12.419 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 00:10:12.419 --> 00:10:15.419 This woman lied to her husband 00:10:15.419 --> 00:10:18.419 You threw what was not in it to get it 00:10:18.419 --> 00:10:21.419 On divorce, she returns to her first husband 00:10:21.419 --> 00:10:24.419 But God revealed the truth of what she said 00:10:24.419 --> 00:10:27.419 The Messenger responded to her 00:10:28.419 --> 00:10:31.480 So be careful 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:35.470 When you talk about your husband 00:10:35.470 --> 00:10:38.470 We will continue in an upcoming meeting, God willing 00:10:38.470 --> 00:10:41.470 Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds