1 00:00:00,020 --> 00:00:03,020 In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful 2 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:08,220 Men's items 3 00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:13,220 In the hadith of Umm Zara’ 4 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:22,089 When a woman talks about her husband 5 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:25,089 A woman loves to talk about her husband 6 00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:28,089 And that should be the focus of her talk 7 00:00:28,089 --> 00:00:30,089 There is no surprise in that 8 00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:34,090 The nature of women is completely different from the nature of men 9 00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:38,090 This council is only an example of women's councils 10 00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:42,090 And the talk about his wives 11 00:00:42,090 --> 00:00:47,149 Ibn Hajar, may God have mercy on him, said commenting on the story of this council: 12 00:00:47,149 --> 00:00:51,149 And it is the business of women if they speak 13 00:00:51,149 --> 00:00:55,149 Their conversation should only be about men 14 00:00:55,149 --> 00:00:58,149 This is unlike men 15 00:00:58,149 --> 00:01:03,149 Most of their talk is regarding matters of livelihood 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:09,819 But what are the rules for talking about husbands between women? 17 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,819 First, beware of backbiting 18 00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:15,920 God Almighty forbids backbiting 19 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,920 He said, “Do not backbite one another.” 20 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:24,920 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, explained the meaning of backbiting, saying: 21 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,920 Do you know what backbiting is? 22 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,920 They said: God and His Messenger know best 23 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,920 He said: He reminded you of your brother in a way that he dislikes 24 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,920 It was said: What do you think if there is something in my brother that I say? 25 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,920 He said, "If what you say is true, then you backbited him." 26 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,950 If it is not in it, then it has guided him 27 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:50,019 Narrated by Muslim 28 00:01:50,019 --> 00:01:54,019 The wife is the one most aware of the husband's faults 29 00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:55,019 And it is 30 00:01:55,019 --> 00:01:58,019 Therefore, he covered her and she covered him 31 00:01:58,019 --> 00:02:02,019 If you talk between women about something that the husband hates 32 00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:05,109 I fell into occultation 33 00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:08,110 Women often fall into backbiting 34 00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:12,110 When she talks to her mother and sisters about her husband 35 00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:18,240 The fact that she wants someone to talk to her does not exempt her from sin 36 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:24,430 Because disclosing what the husband dislikes is backbiting that makes the woman sinful 37 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:29,430 What should a woman do if problems arise between her and her husband? 38 00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:32,530 She wanted to air her concerns 39 00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:37,530 This is one of the cases that most ensnare a woman in backbiting 40 00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:40,750 How can a woman avoid it? 41 00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:44,750 So that the woman avoids falling into backbiting in this case 42 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,750 She must take two things into consideration 43 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:48,750 Firstly 44 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,750 Choose well who you talk to 45 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,750 Which is required 46 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:58,750 The ability to provide advice and guidance for such problems 47 00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:03,750 To have the ability to control the mind and control emotions 48 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,819 Secondly 49 00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:07,819 Her intention should be to solve the problem 50 00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:10,819 And not just venting 51 00:03:10,819 --> 00:03:14,039 Since women are emotional by nature 52 00:03:14,039 --> 00:03:16,039 Her emotion overpowers her reason 53 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:23,039 It may not be appropriate to consult on marital problems that need to be heard by both parties 54 00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:31,039 However, her experiences can be used to provide advice and guidance in making marital life a success 55 00:03:31,039 --> 00:03:35,259 Evidence that it is permissible to talk about the husband in a way that he dislikes 56 00:03:35,259 --> 00:03:38,259 In order to solve the problem or referendum 57 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:42,259 Hind bint Atba’s conversation with her husband 58 00:03:42,259 --> 00:03:44,300 On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her 59 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,300 Hind bint Atba said: 60 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,300 O Messenger of God 61 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,300 Abu Sufyan is a stingy man 62 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,300 He does not give me enough for me and my child 63 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:58,300 Except what I took from him and he did not know 64 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,300 And he said 65 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,300 Take what is sufficient for you and your child, according to what is reasonable 66 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,300 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 67 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,389 The question here 68 00:04:07,389 --> 00:04:11,389 Is what happened by women in this council considered backbiting? 69 00:04:11,389 --> 00:04:15,389 Is it permissible to emulate them in this act? 70 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,550 The answer is yes 71 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:19,550 This is backbiting 72 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:23,550 Because each woman knows the other 73 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,550 She knows who her husband is 74 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:29,550 They should not be imitated in this action 75 00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:31,550 A group comes together 76 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:34,550 And each one talks about her husband 77 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:38,810 But updating it is now permissible 78 00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:41,810 Because the women who do not meet are unknown 79 00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:44,810 Their husbands are also unknown 80 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:48,810 Mentioning about them is not considered backbiting 81 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,870 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 82 00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:54,870 Some scholars have inferred from this hadith 83 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,870 To mention the bad and the defect 84 00:04:57,870 --> 00:05:01,870 If someone mentions him in a way that his name and eyes are not known 85 00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:03,870 It is not backbiting 86 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,870 But backbiting 87 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,870 To mean something specific that he dislikes 88 00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:11,870 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace 89 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:13,870 He told about some of these women 90 00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:16,870 What they mentioned about their husbands' faults 91 00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:20,870 He does not talk about himself or others, may God bless him and grant him peace 92 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,870 Except what is permissible and permissible 93 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:29,060 What is the point of mentioning these women? 94 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:32,060 If their action was backbiting 95 00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:33,120 Firstly 96 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,120 If there was no benefit in mentioning their story 97 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:40,120 When Aisha, may God be pleased with her, told her 98 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,120 When the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, listened to her speech 99 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,120 Without denial 100 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,250 Secondly 101 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:50,250 Remember stories like this to learn a lesson 102 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,250 And benefit from the experiences of others 103 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:56,339 Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said 104 00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:58,339 And there is some jurisprudence in it 105 00:05:58,339 --> 00:06:01,339 It is permissible to talk about empty nations 106 00:06:01,339 --> 00:06:04,339 And bygone generations and past centuries 107 00:06:04,339 --> 00:06:07,339 He gave them examples 108 00:06:07,339 --> 00:06:10,339 Because in his conduct he is considered for the considered 109 00:06:10,339 --> 00:06:13,339 And clairvoyance for the clairvoyant 110 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,339 And extracting benefit for the extensive researcher 111 00:06:16,339 --> 00:06:18,339 In this hadith 112 00:06:18,339 --> 00:06:21,339 Especially if it happens to women 113 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:25,339 A benefit in urging loyalty to Ba'ullah 114 00:06:25,339 --> 00:06:28,339 And mourning for shortness of mind and heart towards them 115 00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:31,339 And thanks for all they do 116 00:06:31,339 --> 00:06:33,339 And get along well with them 117 00:06:33,339 --> 00:06:35,339 Like a mother's condition 118 00:06:35,339 --> 00:06:38,339 And what appeared to be her admiration for Abu Zara’ 119 00:06:38,339 --> 00:06:41,339 Congratulations to him and all his family 120 00:06:41,339 --> 00:06:43,339 He thanked her for his kindness to her 121 00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:46,339 Everything after it is made small 122 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,540 Because of her story, it was a topic of conversation 123 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:52,540 It also occurred in some narrations 124 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:55,540 Including the introduction to the patience of others 125 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,540 whose husbands We blamed 126 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:01,540 And the media about the bad behavior they endured 127 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:04,540 And the ferocity of their morals 128 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:07,540 Let women emulate this 129 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,540 Whoever has reached her experience of patience 130 00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:13,540 Secondly 131 00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:17,399 Don't mince words 132 00:07:17,399 --> 00:07:20,459 Women have the power to change reality 133 00:07:20,459 --> 00:07:23,459 Without falling into lies 134 00:07:23,459 --> 00:07:26,459 We saw it in a previous episode 135 00:07:26,459 --> 00:07:29,459 Evidence of this 136 00:07:29,459 --> 00:07:32,459 It is not permissible for a woman to talk about her husband 137 00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:35,459 To deceive the listener into something that is not in her husband 138 00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:38,459 Of bad qualities 139 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,819 Third 140 00:07:40,819 --> 00:07:44,069 Do not deny your husband's benevolence 141 00:07:44,069 --> 00:07:47,069 The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, told 142 00:07:47,069 --> 00:07:50,069 That most of the women go to Hell 143 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,069 It is ungrateful for the husband's benevolence 144 00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:56,069 He said: I showed you the fire 145 00:07:56,069 --> 00:07:59,069 So most of its people are women 146 00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,069 They disbelieve 147 00:08:01,069 --> 00:08:04,069 It was said: Do they disbelieve in God? 148 00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:07,069 He said: “The husband and wife are ungrateful.” 149 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:10,069 And they deny charity 150 00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:13,069 Then she saw something from you 151 00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:16,069 She said: I have never seen anything good from you 152 00:08:16,069 --> 00:08:19,649 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 153 00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:22,779 Fourth, do not lie 154 00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:25,779 Lying is a major sin 155 00:08:25,779 --> 00:08:28,779 It is one of the worst manners in dealing with people 156 00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:31,779 And the woman when talking about her husband 157 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,779 You may lie and slander him 158 00:08:34,779 --> 00:08:37,779 Or with praise to appear in front of women 159 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:41,940 On behalf of herself or her husband 160 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,940 On the authority of Ikrimah, Rifa'ta divorced his wife 161 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:47,940 So Abdul Rahman bin Al-Zubair Al-Qardi married her 162 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,940 Aisha said 163 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:53,940 She is wearing a green veil 164 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:56,940 So she complained to her and showed her green skin 165 00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:59,940 When the Messenger of God came 166 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,940 Women support each other 167 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:05,940 Aisha said 168 00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:09,000 I have seen what happens to believing women 169 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,000 Her skin is greener than her dress 170 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,029 He said and heard it 171 00:09:15,029 --> 00:09:18,029 She came to the Messenger of God 172 00:09:18,029 --> 00:09:21,029 Then he came with two of his sons from another country 173 00:09:21,029 --> 00:09:24,029 She said, “By God, I am not at fault.” 174 00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:27,029 However, what he has is not richer 175 00:09:27,029 --> 00:09:30,029 About me from this 176 00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:33,029 She took a fringe from her dress 177 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:36,029 I repent, by God, O Messenger of God 178 00:09:36,029 --> 00:09:39,029 I will shake it off, I will shake it off 179 00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:42,029 But she is an outlier who wants prosperity 180 00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:45,029 The Messenger of God said 181 00:09:45,029 --> 00:09:48,029 If so, it is not permissible for him 182 00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:51,029 Or you did not prepare it for him so that he could taste it 183 00:09:51,029 --> 00:09:54,029 From your honey 184 00:09:54,029 --> 00:09:57,029 He said and saw two of his sons with him 185 00:09:57,029 --> 00:10:00,029 And these are your sons, he said 186 00:10:00,029 --> 00:10:03,029 He said this is what you claim 187 00:10:03,029 --> 00:10:06,029 Whatever you claim, by God 188 00:10:06,029 --> 00:10:09,029 To them, it resembles a crow to a crow 189 00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:12,419 Narrated by Al-Bukhari 190 00:10:12,419 --> 00:10:15,419 This woman lied to her husband 191 00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:18,419 You threw what was not in it to get it 192 00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:21,419 On divorce, she returns to her first husband 193 00:10:21,419 --> 00:10:24,419 But God revealed the truth of what she said 194 00:10:24,419 --> 00:10:27,419 The Messenger responded to her 195 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,480 So be careful 196 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,470 When you talk about your husband 197 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:38,470 We will continue in an upcoming meeting, God willing 198 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:41,470 Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds